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being scottish you know your scottish when..............are you scottish?...... youknow you are a true scot if..........1. ye can properly pronounce mcconnochie, ecclefechan,milngavie,sauchiehall st , st enoch, auchtermuchty and aufur***sake.2. ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.3. yer used tae four seasons in wan day.4. ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.5. ye measure distance in minutes.6. ye kin understaun rab c nesbitt and know characters just likehim,in yer ain family7. ye go tae saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.8. ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.9. ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.10. somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur weddingday date.11. you've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in thechurch/chapel.12. yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.13. ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.14. ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yerpals.15. finally, you are 100% scot if you have ever said/heard thesewords:how's it hingin.... clatty... boggin...pished...get it up ye...weebeasties...amurny... away an bile yer heid.... peely-wally... humpheybackit...ba'-heid...baw bag scottish friends are the best friends: tell you not to do something stupid when drunkscottish friends: will post 360 degree security so you dont get caught peeing---------------------------------------------------------friends: call your parents mr. and mrsscottish friends: call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up--------------------------------------------------------------------friends: hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.scottish friends: know some wild **** will happen, and set up rally points and an e & e route.---------------------------------------------------------------friends: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.scottish friends: will be sitting next to you saying, damn...that **** was fun "------------------------------------------------------friends: cry with you.scottish friends: laugh at you---------------------------------------------------------friends: borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.scottish friends: steal each other's stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.--------------------------------------------------------friends: are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.scottish friends: will crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.--------------------------------------------------------friends: know a few things about you.scottish friends: could write a book with direct quotes from you.------------------------------------------------------friends: will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.scottish friends: will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.--------------------------------------------------friends: would knock on your door.scottish friends: walk right in and say, "i'm home!"----------------------------------------------------friends: will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.scottish friends: will buck up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.-------------------------------------------------------friends: will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.scottish friends: will share their last pound with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.-----------------------------------------friends: will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.scottish friends: will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "you better drink the rest of that ****, you know we don't waste. that's alcohol abuse!!!"------------------------------------------friends: want the money they loaned you back next week.scottish friends: can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.---------------------------------------------friends: will say "i can't handle shots anymore".scottish friends: will say "okay, just one more..." and then 2 minutes later "okay, just one more!".-------------------------------------------------friends: will talk **** to the person who talks **** about you.scottish friends: will knock them the **** out!!-------------------------------------------------friends: will tell you what you want to hearscottish friends: will tell you like it is
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